Mom School

   While visiting with a friend who has children ranging in ages from 4-30 we got on a discussion about motherhood. 

   I asked her if having 2 adult children and 3 children at home gave her an enlightened perspective on being a parent, or just made her tired because she's been at it for 30 years with no end in sight. 

   She told me that is has taught her the valuable lesson that kids really do grow up, and it happens so fast. If we don't love it now while it's happening, we will miss our chance.

She also said, teenagers aren't as bad as everyone says. 

As we were talking we came to the conclusion that in order to really enjoy each phase of our children's lives, we need to learn to give something up at each phase. If we can learn to give up something, it leaves space for us to enjoy what's happening instead. 

I'm still quite a young mother, with a pretty good baby. But I have learned to give up a few things a long the way: sleep, running "quick" errands, more sleep, dresses/tops that don't open or stretch at the top (courtesy of nursing), freedom with my schedule, easy days at the beach with my husband and the list goes on I'm sure.

But the latest sacrifice is my preoccupation with the notion that there must not be messes. Especially foody messes. As Violet is learning to eat, and frankly resisting any help along the way, I have to take a deep breath and remind myself that this is an exciting new phase. I have to give up my cleanliness ideals and make room for the joy of watching development happen right before my eyes. The joy of watching Violet learn and grow and discover a world that is totally new to her (i.e. using a spoon and drinking from a cup). Things we can't remember not doing, Violet has never done before. Amazing, right?

So, here are some pictures of Violet and I learning as we go (but really just of Violet):

Well, in this last one she is just chowing down on sand, nevertheless, a mess to which I must surrender!

In the end, the sacrifices could never equal the rewards. She is my best little pal and she totally trusts me. She forgives me seconds after I make her angry or sad or accidentally bump her head or smash her fingers. She watches everything we do and mimics us (the highest form of flattery you know...). She is so happy to see us in the mornings and loves to meet new people, but makes sure we are nearby, just in case. She carries on important babbling conversations with us and loves all the silly games we play with her. She wants to share with us. She wants to play with us and snuggle with us (if only for a few seconds-minutes at a time).

She is getting big. If I spend time worrying about her messes while she's still small, I will find myself with a grown girl who can clean up her own messes-and a lot of missed opportunities to enjoy how she got there.